Jade Stoner
Spiritual Life Coach
Jade Stoner is a Spiritual Life Coach, Podcast Host and Entrepreneur. Her mission is to empower you to break cycles keeping you stuck so that you can live the full life your soul is calling you to - the one of passion, freedom and fulfillment.
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Instagram: instagram.com/iamjadestoner
Website: www.iamjadestoner.com
Full Transcript - Episode 5
Chantelle: Today, my conversation is with Jade, a spiritual life coach, podcast host, and entrepreneur.
Her mission is to empower you to break cycles keeping you stuck so that you can live the full life your soul is calling you to. The one of passion, freedom, and fulfillment. Have a listen while today's guest, Jade, a 3/5, shares her story while you read between the lines.
Jade, how did learning about the 3 5 profile [00:01:00] initially make you feel?
Jade: Oh, that's a great question. One of the first times I interacted with human design, I was just like, this is all kind of cool. But it's just another thing that I don't have time to learn. It felt like a personality profile, that's how I interpreted it. I know that's not what it is. And it just kind of fell by the wayside.
I don't know when I got back into human design or how, but then I did pay attention. And one of the biggest things that stuck out to me was the mastery over time piece. And it was like, oh, okay, that makes a lot of sense because I've been on my personal growth journey since 2010.
Sometimes it's frustrating because I'm like, I have done so much work. I've done so many things. Why has this not completely clicked? Like I've seen success with stuff. I've had the results. But I haven't had the results that, you know, a [00:02:00] program will tell you, take this program and you're going to be this, and read this book and you're going to be this.
It's like, I've done loads of these programs, like, I've given up my weekends over the years and not gone out doing this kind of personal growth stuff. What's going on? And then it was. I'm not supposed to get it just like that. I'm not supposed to read a book, do a program. I mean, nobody's supposed to do one of these things, but I mean, you know, doing these things over and then
achieve huge success with it. It's about mastery over time. And it's about me experimenting.
That was another piece, you know, because I've tried all these different things and I'm very curious and open and always looking at different ways. And again, it was like, yes, this is how it's supposed to be. And just seeing that was like a complete release and I'm okay, this is how I'm supposed to be, this is literally how I'm designed to be.
Chantelle: I remember having that [00:03:00] exact same , self talk script playing in my head as I was discovering my human design and I still do, , six years into knowing about the concept, I'm still like, no, this is how you are, this is written in your chart, there's an explanation for this, it feels very soothing to me to have certain elements written down that I can connect with in that way. And it just gives me this level of understanding about my path, which it sounds like you do as well.
Jade: Yeah, absolutely. A couple of years ago I actually pulled my son's chart. So he must have been about 14 or 15. I was curious, and I always tell this story when I talk about human design, because I, it was so mind blowing for me but I also think it's really powerful the gift of human design. So I pulled his chart, he's a projector, I'm a generator, and as I was understanding it, I remember pausing and being like, Oh wow, [00:04:00] he's not just a lazy teenager.
He's literally not designed to do stuff the way that I am. I can go, go, go, go. That's my generator energy. Whereas he's designed to do a thing and also to do it in a quicker, smarter way. And then have a break and then do his next thing. And I actually apologized to him. I went and explained to him, I showed him his chart and the notes that I'd taken.
And I said, I'm sorry for trying to make you do stuff in a way that is not aligned for you. And for thinking you're lazy, because actually you're not lazy. It's literally how you were designed.
Chantelle: That's so cool that you were able to respond to it in that way. I have three step kids and two of them are twins and projectors, and I'm reminded of that element of rest very often, even though they're preteens, they're 12, like they're not going to take that rest on their own. They're not there yet, [00:05:00] but I, I think about that a lot because the rest of us in this house are all manifesting generators and different paces. That's our energetic way of being in the world.
Jade: Such a gift. And as with many of the things in the personal development industry, imagine how different. people's lives will be if they learn this stuff at a young age.
One day I had a conversation with somebody that identified as having ADHD. And I said, I'm just curious, like, what does that look like for you? And they explained it. And then the next day I was having this human design conversation and the person that I was speaking to explained the open head center and explained how that shows up.
And I was like, wow, what you've just described is literally identical to what somebody described to me yesterday. And saying that was aDHD.
Chantelle: Right. The label is different, but the experience of it is similar.
Jade: Right. [00:06:00] Like, I'm not a doctor, I'm not diagnosing anybody, but are the things that we label, and this society, our society loves to put a label on stuff, right?
Yes. Is it ADHD? Or I'd be really curious to see your human design chart and do you have an open head center? And even so yesterday I learned about a gate the 9-52 gate in the human design chart. So I don't have a complete line there. I have a hanging gate nine. And my understanding of this, this gate. All the way through is that the nine is about you having these ideas and these plans and this vision and the 52 is about you sitting down and doing the work and getting it done.
Well, I own half of that line. So I have the ideas and the vision. And then I sometimes to sit down and focus and to get it done. Again, that could be interpreted as ADHD right because I can't sit there and focus on this thing that I know I'm supposed to do. I don't have a complete line there.
I don't [00:07:00] have the energy, the follow through energy always.
It takes a really, a lot of energy and effort for me to sit there and focus and do it. I just find it so fascinating. And I'm like, if more people understood the human design and looked at it themselves through that lens, would they label themselves as much with having these things wrong with them or shaming themselves or criticizing themselves or putting themselves down?
It would be a complete different experience.
Chantelle: You know, it's fascinating. I love diving deeper into it too. As you were talking, I got curious because 52-9 didn't feel that familiar to me. So I knew it wasn't one of my complete channels either, but I quickly grabbed my chart while you were speaking. And I also have a hanging gate nine. I don't have 52.
And I would say that that's something that resonates for me for sure as you described it. So I'll have to look into that.
Jade: And the only reason I know that is not because I know that much, that depth about human design, is literally because somebody shared it and I read it and I was like, Oh, that sounds like [00:08:00] me and did exactly what you've just did.
Chantelle: Yes, absolutely. Something you said earlier was the first time that you discovered human design, you weren't quite ready for it in a sense, that it only clicked and and was interesting to you not too overwhelming on a second pass and.
I thought that was really curious because like I'm a three line as well. My three is in the unconscious side, but you have the three in your conscious side. And I'm wondering, cause I have that experience a lot too, with things where I have to be in the right place or the right time to learn something.
And sometimes it takes me a few passes to have something click like that. I'm wondering if that's a three line thing that we have in common like for that mastery over time also connects to being in the right place the right time to take something new in. Is that a pattern for you?
Jade: Oh, I hadn't thought about it in that way.
Probably, [00:09:00] if I sat down and really thought about it, yeah, there'd be more areas of my life and more examples of me doing that. And from my spiritual perspective, that's divine timing as well. You know, same things, different labels. Sometimes we're shown stuff or stuff is brought up for us and we're not ready to receive, we're not ready to take it in. And there's some steps that have to go in between. I had the same experience when I set out on my path to qualify as a coach.
And I remember that there was this weekend that I was supposed to go and do my first training. And there was, I remember laughing about it, just thinking, are you serious right now? Like literally so many things thrown in my path to the point that I realized, okay, I get the message. I'm not going.
I'm hooked on to the next one. It was like two months away from that one. And the growth between when I was first supposed to go on my certification on that weekend and actually when I did. All of that prepared me for when I sat in that room [00:10:00] that weekend at home. I can see myself sitting there and realizing I wouldn't have taken in what you're telling me right now, had it not been for the book that I'd read in this period of time and the experiences that I've been through.
They were all preparing me. So it's the same thing, but different.
Chantelle: Yeah, I would agree with that. That's why I have this show because I'm so curious about how each of the lines actually plays out in our lives and the whole conscious versus unconscious thing to like how central it feels to us as themes.
From profile. I feel like profile is all about like how we align to ourselves and our relationships with ourselves. And nowhere does this resonate more for me than in my business. I'm curious, what is that like for you? How does the 3/5 ness show up for you in your business?
Jade: So it is definitely the mastery over time. A line that I heard a couple of weeks [00:11:00] ago was that the slowest growing trees are the strongest. I instantly associated to that mastery over time in the personal development space. There's lots of hype, there's lots of noise, there's lots of people claiming that they can do a thing, that they know a thing.
And what that mastery over time piece allows for me is that I didn't just sprout up from nowhere. I've been here a long time. You know, one foot in front of the other, step by step, month by month, year by year. And with that, deepening my understanding of things, going through my lived life experiences . That's another piece, I believe, of the 3/5 line, like that lived life experience piece. That was also a, Oh, Now I get why I've been through so much in my life. And putting all those pieces together, like a puzzle and integrating that into you and having that ownership.
It's [00:12:00] definitely helped me to learn to trust myself on a deeper level. There are things that come through me that I channel through me. And because I didn't have a very good foundation of trust in myself and in life, through life experiences, when I would be receiving this information and these messages, I wouldn't know how to trust them.
It was kind of like, am I making this stuff up? Am I just saying this to make myself feel better? Like, right. You kind of don't have a compass of what's real and what's not. And that comes from, again, my life experiences and things that I've been through.
I understand that they're trauma adaptations. And so in this journey, it's like I'm trying to figure out which pieces to trust. It's not that I read it once and got it instantly, like in and out of my human design.
So I'll read it, absorb it, be like. Oh my gosh, I love human design. This is so great. I get [00:13:00] me when I'll pull back and I'll move along and I'll come back into it again. And like, Oh my God, the human design. Why did I leave it so long? Like this stuff's amazing. Like I get me, but it's lots of this dipping in and out, which I also understand is a piece of my human design.
I think the generator piece of being all in on something. So I go all in and come out, but that's where the confidence in human design has grown. That's where I've got to this place of trusting myself, trusting my journey, trusting my message.
Chantelle: That's beautiful. Many people as I've been recording this show have been talking about the duality of the profile lines almost like each of their profile lines takes a turn and it's interesting because although like I'm aware, intellectually, that profile lines are made up of two individual lines, I mean, it looks like a fraction, you get two numbers, it's pretty obviously two things, but until I started having these conversations, , I never thought about, oh, [00:14:00] I'm in my one line, I'm in my three line, . I just felt like I was constantly in a new phase of experimenting, but also learning, like book learning and life learning together. But you describe it that way too, almost, of there being these different phases.
What does the five line feel like for you?
Jade: Can I pull my book out?
Chantelle: Absolutely. Can I ask what book, what book are you pulling out? People will want to know.
Jade: A human design book by Jenna Zoe. Oh, okay. So this came out a couple of months ago. This was another funny story. I put it on pre order completely forgot about it. And then one day woke up. It was like, you've spent X amount on Amazon.
I'm like, no, I didn't. I was sleeping. What's going on? Like, it's fine. We'll figure it out. We'll get a refund. Duh, duh, duh, duh. And the next day the book showed up. And I know that I would have cancelled it because I, I didn't need another book at that time. It's the way the human design dips in and out [00:15:00] of my life.
The universe knew I needed the book, so it sent it to me. What I really like about this is that it's everything in one place. My human design is on lots of printouts of bits of paper. So in front of me, I've got , a gate 54 piece of paper, and then I've got another thing, and then I've got a, you know, a, a stack of it over there.
The book is nice and neat. The three is the experimenter and it says the five is the liberator. So I have a save the day energy about me. You love to help people, whether it's strangers or loved ones. Because of this you're naturally likeable. People subconsciously sense that you can help them, guide them or lead them.
There's a whole thing. Yeah, It is me, minus the, I don't have a save the day energy about me anymore. And that's purely through healing a lot of my codependency because just because you can fix it doesn't mean you should.
I don't use fix because we're not broken, so we don't need fixing. But it definitely resonates. And also, again, like that matches my career, being a coach is about helping [00:16:00] people. And that's exactly what I'm doing. That's what I think is a really important piece of human design as well.
Like the, it's not a Bible. It's not, well, because you're a three, a 3/5 line and you have these pieces, you know, that's the way you must live. Like take what resonates for you. It's as with anything, because really all of this stuff. It's about coming home to yourself, standing in your own power and having that trust and that self worth and that self love that you can stand on your own two feet without feeling like you need anything outside of you.
So if something doesn't resonate with you again, like take what does resonate, put a twist on it that it does resonate with you. And then it talks about when the two lines come together.
So it says you are constantly dancing with life and here to lift everyone up with the findings of that dance. That's my life. As I shared earlier, I've been around personal development since 2010. And one of the things that I [00:17:00] share is that it was very different than what it is now. People that were coaches and mentors and those kinds of people would be like, these are the steps, this is the way, you do this, this, and that, and then it's like, ta da!
Chantelle: Yeah, right, the promised land.
Jade: Yeah, but there may, I don't know, being naive, being gullible, I'm not really sure, a bit of both or just believing in these people would go out and do the things, and then you'd just stand in there and be like hello, this is not what you told me it would be. Right. And what I found is it wasn't very transparent and not in a deceitful way, necessarily, you know, we go through these cycles and these phases in life.
That's the way it was. And perhaps. That's a huge contributing factor to why the industry's changed the way it is today to how I teach and share, which is, look, this is the way, but we have this human conditioning. We often have trauma, have come up against [00:18:00] whatever challenges. So it's not always going to be a straight line. And I think that's really important. And I share my own experiences and that's. What this says, you know, findings of that dance. That says to me that I am being authentic. I'm being in integrity, which is super important to me.
I don't know if you've ever heard the saying like don't ever meet your your heroes. That's the one. Yes. Meet your heroes. And the reason people would say that is because they would often be disappointed because they've read the book or they've watched the TED talk or whatever and then you meet the person behind the stage so to speak and they're not very nice people and it's like you're meeting a different person.
And I've always felt like, no, I want to be the same person on stage as I am off stage. Like, you and I having this conversation here right now, this isn't me putting on an act, this is who I am. If we met in the street, like I'm the same person, you're getting the same energy from me unless I'm having a bad day. I'm not as lively. [00:19:00] You get the gist. And I think that's really, really important. And that's what this industry and this world actually needs is the integrity and the authentic piece.
People are becoming more aware of that, like you can say words and you can do things, but people sense your energy.
Chantelle: Yeah. The way you describe it is very much like the integration of your life experiences and your spiritual experiences and all of your learning experiences and like how you've really alchemized that into how you coach yourself, like how you experienced coaching and how you now decide to do that with your clients.
What are some of the ways that you weave in that theme of alchemy into your work?
Jade: It's very interesting to use that word because alchemy is actually a part of my profile. So it's a natural gift. So I'm looking at the gate 54. And it says you deliver a deep transformational impulse, be it in daily life, finances, or the spiritual aspects of life.
And [00:20:00] somewhere else it says about alchemy, like I have the gift to alchemize and transform things. So I don't, it's not a conscious effort, it's something that comes very naturally to me. It's also a combination of years of work and playing around with things. And really tuning in with what feels good for me.
Like, over the past couple of weeks I was sensing all of the universal energies that were going on. There were eclipses and there were full moons and there was this and that. There was a lot going on. And I, my intention is to contact my email family, like send them an email and let them know what's going on like every single week, they didn't get an email for three or four weeks. And. It was kind of like, okay, that's how we're going to deal with that. And just being honest and open and transparent with it, like, This is the real of it. This is how it is.
Chantelle: That really feels like [00:21:00] this, this plays into like the five line theme of leadership. And I know that guidance must be a really big part of how you do the spiritual life coach deal. Can you tell me a little bit about how that leadership plays out?
Jade: So I work mostly one on one with clients, or at least I have done up until now I have wanted for quite a while and it's something that keeps being nudged to me to start a membership. So that's something that I'll be looking to launch next year, really focused around that community piece. And I've recently learned.
I believe it was through astrology, but it was astrology fed through the human design lens, the two were connected. The community piece is another piece of how I'm wired, how I'm designed, and so that was really interesting. And I'm working on an online program at the moment as well. Years ago, I had a desire to [00:22:00] have an online program because, you know, in the coaching industry, that's what you should do. But , it hasn't been something that's called to me since until earlier this year, I was doing something and then I just got a complete download of what the program should be, what it should look like, why it should be.
So I'm working on that at the moment. So that'll be next year. I will probably still continue to work with people on a one to one basis in 2024 and beyond. But it's gonna, it's going to look a bit different to what it currently looks like.
Chantelle: We've talked obviously a lot in this conversation about your own personal development journey. Is that some of what you work through with clients as well?
Jade: Yeah. In me learning to lead myself, because that's where it starts, helps me to guide my clients to lead themselves.
I don't know if this is part of my human design or if it's just my gift, is that I see things that other people don't see. So often people are doing the work, they're reading the books, they're [00:23:00] doing the online programs, they've Listen to podcasts, you know, whatever their, their way of doing their personal development is.
But for whatever reason, something's still not clicking and I can very easily see the gaps and they're usually like really, really small. And that's the missing piece and helping them to see how to weave it all together, to apply it to their lives, to create the lifestyle success and the inner and the outer success, not just one or the other.
I'm always curious because like you said, coaching is a diverse industry and everyone has their own different methods. There's so many different modalities that you probably bring to your work.
Chantelle: Is there any other ones that I've missed? Is there anything else that informs your work with clients?
Jade: So there's the coaching piece. I'm an accredited EFT practitioner. I am a trauma informed coach. So I bring that piece as well.[00:24:00] And yeah, the intuition piece and my natural gifts and it's just like pulling it all together . The coaching underpins it all definitely being able to take someone from where they are now to where they want to be.
That's the beautiful thing about being on this journey is like seeing how it all connects.
I've been really intuitive from from a very young age. But, like with human design, it's not something we're taught in society. So you're having these experiences and these feelings and these knowings and. There's no one to validate you with that, and it's really difficult, you know, being, being a child can be hard enough anyway, and then I'm one of, if not the only, brown child in my school, so that adds another layer of it.
There's all of these things, and then, yeah, there's no one to validate, to explain it, and that's what I felt really challenging, and then you kind of blow it off, because What else do you do? And one of the things I'm really grateful for with my son is being able to have these kind of conversations [00:25:00] with him and being able to tell him to tune in to his intuition, or as he calls it his full potential and trusting that over everything. I very often say like,
I will explain something to him And then I would always tell him to check in with himself, because even though I'm his mum, I'm not always right. Ultimately, mum or not, right or not, it's about connecting the two pieces together, the information and what you know to be true.
Standing your power, rather than always needing other people to validate your experiences and what's going on inside of you. From something as small as, you know, what do you think of this outfit? Or do you like this? Or do you like that?
And it seems very innocent on the surface, but actually when we look at it at a deeper level, it's about needing that external [00:26:00] validation and not trusting ourselves.
Chantelle: And then , every time that question comes up, it's an opportunity to build trust with yourself or an opportunity to go further into other people's projections or opinions.
What you were saying reminded me of how we have to filter through our own lens, how, we might always be taking in, but we have to then, run it by ourselves.
Jade: Yeah. And that's so, so important. Going back to the coaching piece, you know, there are many coaches that will teach you that you always need to have a coach.
And I, I bought into that for many years. And then I got to a stage and again, this was my inner voice saying to me, no, you need to stop.
You need to figure out how to stand in your own power by yourself. Enough. And that's a massive thing as well. Like we often know enough, it's not that any of us need more information, the information's out there. It's about integrating and embodying , not it just being something that you do, but it becomes a [00:27:00] part of who you are.
And that's so, so key. My coach taught me that you're always coaching yourself out of a job. You're always tuning them back into their own power. With me, for example. Being able to go for years without having a coach, but still being able to do the work and show up for myself.
Chantelle: Yeah. What came up for me when you were speaking was the theme of reorienting to yourself. And it seems like you've been able to really integrate that lesson and then you also use that theme when you're working with other people.
Jade: Yeah, it's so important. And actually what I heard from somebody recently about human design is that human design was actually created for 2027.
And we're getting there. We are getting there. One of the, like, changing cross of laws, so from an [00:28:00] astrology perspective, that would be like moving from one planet into another and the theme of where we're going into in 2027 is about looking inside of yourself. And again, for me, when I heard that, I was like, wow, this is what I've been being prepared for.
Because. In all the years of my teaching and my coaching, I've almost been doing the opposite. We're taught to, you know, look outside of ourselves for the answers, for the fixes, for all of the things. And I've been teaching something new and it's going against the grain and it's like, the tide is turning and more people can start to get this.
I kind of got excited for it because I was like, okay and in, approximately two years when 2027 comes, I'll also be turning 40.
Chantelle: We are relatively the same age then. I will be 40 when, when 2027 hits as well.
Jade: It feels like an exciting time.
And actually when you start to [00:29:00] connect the dots and look at it, and I thought my journey started in 2011, but I can see it started way before that. I've learned that through my own healing journey, and then learning about trauma and how it can be created. in the womb and from a spiritual perspective, how some traumas are from past lifetimes, you know, when you put those pieces together it all adds up and it's all going in that direction.
And one of the things that I love to share is like about nature. We are a part of nature, like leave nature to get on with itself. Guess what? It all grows. It knows exactly what to do and when to do it. Guess what? So do our souls. It's our human being that gets in the way of it, that's thinking, oh, I'm turning 40, so I should have done this, and I should have done that, and I should be married, And if it hasn't happened yet, oh no, I'm doomed.
Like, people simmer down. Mm hmm. Also, it's not 1950, we're rewriting the rules and [00:30:00] that's probably connected to human design as well on the deeper levels.
Chantelle: It was lovely to chat with you, Jade. I have the custom human design affirmation cards from Glow Glow Juice HD. Christina's made them. They're beautiful. And we'll complete our conversation by drawing a card. So we'll flow into taking a deep breath together, breathing in
and releasing.
The card that's come up for us today is, I trust that my experiences serve a great purpose, even the messy ones. How can I honor all parts of my process?
Jade: I love that card. I feel like that is a perfect summary of what we, what we've discussed in the episode. How can I honor that?
I feel like, continuing on the path and the journey that I am, the [00:31:00] word messy sticks out and reminds me, when I say perfect doesn't exist, out of the mess comes the most beautiful things, if we allow them so keep on going, keep showing up, because it all comes good in the end, and again, like, with nature.
Over here in the UK, we're kind of in a messy season right now, you know, the leaves are falling off the trees, and there's a mess all over the floor, and the trees are bare, and that's part of the process. Trust that it will all come together as it's supposed to, as often when we look back in our lives in hindsight, it's always all worked out.
And it's just about us getting our human on board in those spaces.
Chantelle: Speaking of humans, I think those listening will want to connect with you. Where can they go to do that?
Jade: I can be found online at I am Jade Stoner. That is [00:32:00] everywhere. My website, my social media, I think that's, that's all of the places.
Chantelle: I can't wait to see where your human design takes you in the next steps of your journey.
Jade: Thank you, Chantelle. Thank you for facilitating this space.
