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4/6 Projector Melissa Giller - Balancing Joy, Ease & Purpose

Melissa Giller

Certified Life Coach and MBA-Educated Business Owner

As a certified life coach, MBA-educated business owner and former corporate management consultant, Melissa brings close to 20 years of experience working in both public and private sector, with organizations ranging in employee counts of 1 to 10,000+.

Whether you run your own business, work within or lead an organization, or identify as the leader of your household — Melissa believes you deserve to feel joy, ease and a sense of balance as you chase your purpose. Mama to two littles and married to a fellow business owner, she deeply understands the nuances of the modern female entrepreneur.

Connect with Melissa...

Full Transcript - Episode 26


Chantelle: Melissa, thanks for being here today.

As a conscious 4 line, do you feel like you're a social person? Is that a way that you would identify yourself?

Melissa: Yes, definitely. And thank you for having me. I'm really excited to dive into this because it's just such an interesting topic. I like that you focus on the profile line because I feel like at least when I started my human design journey, it was all about the type and the strategy, but once I started learning where the profile line, things started clicking really for me.

So, I want to say yes and no, and I think that where my profile is the 4/6, I am a very social person, but I'm also very removed and need that time and space and so [00:02:00] I am what I think you would define as the true introvert extrovert.

I love both and I can be really lit up by the environments that I'm in and the people that I'm around and it's like I could stay up for days.

I could have that much energy, and be super inspired. But if I'm also not in the right environment or I don't feel aligned I will crash. I'll get sick or something like that. Like I just, I need to be home. It's like, I want to jump out of my own skin.

Chantelle: Yeah, that's interesting. How do you know what a good environment is for you?

How does that alignment make itself

Melissa: known?

It's really

just a feeling in my body. I think for me too, being like the splenic projector. My intuition is, it's a hit and it's there or you miss it. Right. And so it's just this knowing, I know who lights me up. I know immediately if I feel uninspired by someone's energy or presence I don't want to be around that, but it's more for me to feeling like I can find depth and meaning in the conversations and the people that [00:03:00] I'm with.

So I feel like too, that kind of more introspective observer side of the six infiltrates into my fourness of being social and enjoying conversations and meeting people and networking and all of those things but they also can't be surface level at the same time.

Chantelle: I think I've read about the four line how it's a tiny bit opportunistic in the sense that you are aware of people in your network, throughout your network, like how you can mutually benefit each other, how that's a part of the four. What does your personal network mean to you?

Melissa: It's funny you say that because I've often been called like a connector for people. I feel that in myself and I kind of could say like, Oh, I think that person is someone I want to deepen a relationship with, because we can mutually benefit each other.

But I also see that with others or clients that I work with and that this person needs to talk to this person and they need to get connected because they have so much potential to offer each [00:04:00] other. I noticed so when I started my business, it was in August of 2020. When I started my coaching business, I guess previously to that, I had started another endeavor with a partner it's called Moms Manitoba.

It was this kind of mom focused group, which launched in late 2019. And as you can imagine what happened in the events industry the following year. Wasn't it?

Chantelle: I have an idea.

Melissa: So needless to say, I launched an online coaching business in August of 2020. And at that time, my sights were set, you know, no postal codes required.

I could work with anybody and I was trying to market myself to anybody and everything. And it wasn't until I realized I have such a deep network here where I live and I've gone to school and I've gone to graduate school and I've worked with so many different companies in my consulting role and I was kind of just like blown away from it.

I'm like, why am I not tapping into the local [00:05:00] market? And so. That was a total game changer for me. And not in that way too, where when I hear opportunistic, I mean, there's that twinge of like, I'm not taking advantage of people. Right. But,

Chantelle: Sometimes that human design language can be triggering. It's outdated and kind of harsh.

Melissa: So it's true to kind of say though, that it was like, when I did make that conscious shift, I think that's what has changed for me, for sure.

Chantelle: Yeah. And we happen to be from the same place. So your local community is my local community. And I do find that in growing my business here, I too have found quite a bit more success locally than online.

And of course we have totally different profiles. I'm a 1/3, you're a 4/6. Those are totally different profiles, but there's something about that in person. I think for me and my design, I attribute that to, I have an undefined solar plexus.

And for me, being able to feel people's feelings, I can do that through a screen, but [00:06:00] like, my powers feel heightened when I'm in person. So there's something about having those in person connections for me that feels just. So much more productive and and positive.

Melissa: I think I'm open there as well.

So that would be why as well. Yeah Yeah, that's the emotional center, right? So yeah,

Chantelle: undefined.


never identified with like the empath term and that's kind of what the open emotional center tends to signify but. once I learned about the Open Emotional Center, I was like, Oh, yeah, because I totally can sense other people's feelings and to the point of, you know, is that my feeling or is that your feeling and I've had to navigate that.

But I think that's what makes me more of a real life person than an online person because the vibe is just so different.

I'm not an objective expert, but that's how it feels for me. Yeah. So knowing that, you know, you're a six line that you have the whole pre on the roof and now on the roof. With your [00:07:00] on the roof lens now, tell me what the first phase of life was like before that.

Melissa: It was an adventure. It really was.

Like, I'm like, oh, it was a three life because my husband and two children are all 3/5s. So I get it. I get what the three is here for. And when I think back, I mean, that was me. I just dabbled in everything. I tried anything I could. I mean, I felt like I, I knew myself or was always discovering who I was, but Yeah, I was really open to traveling and just kind of getting that adventure piece of my life underway.

But then it really was like that Saturn return pull in my late twenties. And I was just like, All I want to do is settle down. All I want to do is a quiet life. Like, I don't want to go out anymore. I don't want to be visible. I would just want to be settled. I've heard too, that like, the six needs to find their soulmate.

So that was a huge focus for [00:08:00] me in that time. And I did, and we, you know, he's a very introverted kind of person as well. And like kind of that person that I needed in a way. And so yeah, being on the roof now, I mean, it's funny. I feel like I've like hung up my shoes, all these things, but, I mean, I still get flavors of that.

I, as you said, like that, or we talked about the introvert extrovert balance. I like to be out and doing things socially now, but I'm so much more choosy than I used to be. My parents always joked as well for me growing up that like, I could never be home. I would never let myself just be at home.

And so it kind of went against, I feel like, my natural disposition as a Projector to crash and burn if you're not careful with your energy, but I also have a defined root so I can sustain myself and, you know, work really hard and be under pressure which probably why I worked full time and got an MBA at the same [00:09:00] time.

All of these. Still managed to have a very busy social life on top of that so. Yeah, and I also felt, you know, in noticing the difference in my 20s in particular, I was the kind of person where you could put me in any group and I could adapt really easily. And now I think I still have that to some degree, but again, it's just more, I'm more selective of where I put my time and energy because it's limited too, it really is now with having a family.

And the business, like it's, it's gotta be a yes. Yeah, for sure. To do it. Yeah.

Chantelle: And now that you're in the on the roof portion how does what you see around you and also what you see within you, what you're seeing from the roof, how does that affect your experience of your business? Did you make shifts there?

Melissa: So I feel like my business is always mimicking a season that I've been in. So it's like, I love how you put that. As it started, it was [00:10:00] helping new moms regain kind of a sense of control over their life and feeling more just balanced in terms of them getting their own self care and kind of just redefining that stage for themselves.

Cause like a lot of women, I feel struggled with this huge identity shift and becoming a mom, especially after being this high achieving goal getter kind of gal to being at home. So it's like, that's where I started. And then that's not where I stayed because my life didn't stay there, obviously.

I started noticing over time, my clients were also shifting into women who are now, Oh, how do I start my own business? How would I like take this professional skill and create my own income stream out of it? And so I started really shifting naturally in my business to business coaching.

And it was so funny because I was like, well, I have my business background. But I'm not a business coach. I'm not a business coach. I'm a life coach. That's what I got trained in after I'm not looking like, I don't want to [00:11:00] work in corporate anymore, but, wherever you go, there you are.

So, it found me again, but it too, like they were, so now they were mimicking me being like, I want more out of my life.

I want to use this skill. I want to earn my own money. I want to be creative with what I'm doing. I don't want to go back to my nine to five. And so then I'm working with beginner entrepreneurs and now I'm working with more seasoned entrepreneurs of how do I now break into my next level? And it's just, it feels like wherever I go, my clients a year or so later seem to kind of follow suit.

So I think it's, I think it's part of maybe just like naturally noticing and sharing my observations, and that's what attracts that client sort of thing. But the tricky thing is the now, like I'm always having to update on my marketing, my website, like constant change..​

Chantelle: So thinking of that projector language of [00:12:00] guiding, it sounds like you're offering guidance to your clients based on where you've been and like you can see from your mountain, on the roof perspective of you know where they're actually going to be going. What do you feel most called to guide on that you integrate into your work as a coach and as a consultant?

Melissa: That's a good one. Something that really clicked for me was when I learned about what the cognitive distortions are. Do you know what those are?

Chantelle: I'm too familiar with what those are. Yes.

Melissa: And it was like, once I learned just these 10 things, I feel like literally, it's like my whole life changed and my whole worldview and I see it everywhere and I see it in how I think and then how my clients are thinking.

I see it how people speak to me, to each other. I see it when I watch Love is Blind. Like this woman picks a fight with the guy and I'm like, oh my God, she's letting these distortions completely ruin everything.

I had said the term wherever you go, there you are. And so [00:13:00] I'm so called to guide people.

Melissa: To think about their thinking. That metacognition because it's showing up in how they're running their business and how they're parenting and how their relationships are going. Why they're not taking action on doing something because of the fear and the stories that they're telling themselves.

It's their whole concept of self love. It's how much anxiety they're feeling on a daily basis, like stress. So much I feel is wrapped up in the way that our our brain plays tricks on us really and so I find a lot of my work is in creating those new pathways for people and illuminating where these thoughts are keeping them trapped, literally and stuck in this programming that's on default and until you start to notice it and challenge it, then you can create different thoughts. You can create different results with that.

So I work with what I call the belief cycle, which is really backtracking, reverse engineering what you want [00:14:00] to manifest in your life, all the way up to what you need to be believing at your core for that to happen, because those core beliefs, they influence your emotions, your thoughts, the actions you take or don't take, right?

So, that's my jam. And I really also love time blocking. And I say that more as a joke, but you know, I feel like the mindset piece is so, so, so huge. But I don't know if it's the Projector in me because I know that Projectors are here to master systems. So it's like helping people gain control, I want to say over their week and their priorities is just like I love that. That's where I shine.

Chantelle: As a projector who's mastered systems and helps other people with them... what do your personal systems look like? What is a time blocked day like for you?

Melissa: It's not just time blocking, obviously, it's a lot of rinsing and repeating and micro habits.

So I'm really big on that. For me, I use a digital calendar that basically also reflects my paper calendar because I [00:15:00] do like to have both and I'm someone too that gets struck with inspiration in the minute and journaling is part of my morning routine, which I can, I'll get into that.

But so for me, I like the practice of writing something down. It's kind of like having systems in place for your month, your week, your day. So every month that means, you know, looking at the month ahead. And then I will take in my paper planner and schedule what my workouts are.

And that's all inputted digitally as well. So it's blocked. I have my digital calendar set up so that when I'm available for clients, for instance, it's all blocked off in between, like people can only look in three slots per three days kind of thing. Cause then I'll max out my workouts. My energy.

Yeah. I have it digitally and then fill in the gaps, right? So when you know kind of what those commitments are for the week, then you can backtrack and say, well, then this is how I'm going to get all those workouts in.

And then, you know, time for my family is blocked off. [00:16:00] Obviously on days that I know we have these activities and I'm also not available past four o'clock cause I have little kids but. Just running through those blocks every day in kind of a systematic way. So waking up is the same. It's at six, have my greens, have my coffee, do my journaling.

And in that journaling is planning out almost like the time blocks for that day ahead. So then knowing I have three clients today, how do I make sure I'm going to be eating. at the time I need to nourish myself. I always like to reverse engineer off the bigger priorities for the day, the week, the month sort of thing.


Chantelle: could definitely stand to get inspired by you on that. Feeding myself on a workday is just a constant struggle.

Melissa: Yeah. Yeah. I've learned so much on how I feel when I don't take care of myself. And so. That is the concept around the Mindful Boss Academy, why it's called what it is, is that I really want [00:17:00] professionals, business owners, you know, it doesn't matter if you're professionally employed still, your work matters, whatever you're doing.

Who's going to do that work if you're falling apart? Paying attention to yourself is the number one thing that matters. And so any business client of mine is still getting wellness strategies, stress management, all of that incorporated into what we call this weekly flow where they're hitting on their movement.

Hydration, you know, sleep, nutrition throughout the week, as well as making time and space for, well, you say you want to launch a new offer. So when are you making the time to actually develop that out, develop the content, develop the marketing strategy and just wish it into place or like be constantly serving clients.

Right. So, yeah that's my job.

Chantelle: Yeah, and you mentioned taking time for family in there, and earlier you said that you're the only 4/6 in your family. How do you notice yourself viewing life [00:18:00] differently than the rest of your family of 3/5s from your own 4/6

Melissa: profile?

Yeah, I mean, the 3/5s, they all get super testy in their own ways.

I feel like I have my moments, but it's like, I don't know, I can sustain a better mood longer.

Chantelle: Interesting.

Melissa: I don't know what that is about them. I mean, maybe it's a five piece. I would say that most of them, they're oriented towards home in a big way that I am, to the degree that I am the six line, but I wasn't when I was younger, as I was saying, I always wanted to be out, right.

And so my kids grow up in a world where. Because of the nature of what I do and keeping up with my network, like I'll be out, let's call it one to two nights a week on average. But I, again, get in a lot of other time, like that's sacred time for me. But their dad in his world doesn't do that. And he's home.

He loves to be home. So, yeah, that's not how I [00:19:00] grew up. I grew up with my dad's job, taking him out in the evening for dinners and meetings and things. So that's a really different perspective that I had growing up and that my kids will have because I took on more of like my dad than I did my mom

in some ways.

Chantelle: Yeah, that's interesting. Is there anything that you learned in noticing the differences between both profiles, like where you can say, okay, I understand this about the 4/6 better because I can see mirrored, or not mirrored in the rest of the people in my family?

Melissa: Yeah. I mean, I definitely see their desire to just figure things out for themselves, which, I mean, I don't.

In terms of the six and how I look back on. Living that first 30 years as a three, I realized like I had a lot more in common with them than I thought I did, right?

So I would say that I noticed but yeah, I don't notice any huge differences. I feel like they're still such unique people.

I've paid so much attention to, [00:20:00] to understanding the four and the six that I probably have more work to do with them all day.

Chantelle: Well, the cool thing about human design, as we've been talking about, is that you get that differentiation, like understanding the uniqueness of everybody.

As a Projector, you have this view of that- you have that lens, so can you tell us some stories about how being a Projector shows up in your life and in your business?

Melissa: Yeah, for sure. In my life in particular, I would say I'm really good at like leading from the couch. I'm still learning maybe what the system I came to master is. Part of me sometimes does think it is time because it's like I am the total keeper of the schedule and the plans and, you know, we have a big family calendar as well that everybody's now super into.

And so I always know where we're going and what we're doing next and developing out like the next year of our life, basically. And so I just have to [00:21:00] guide people to where they need to be and who needs to do what.

So I feel like I'm like an instrument in all those things. Like I'm always like a conductor, it's something that works really well for us.

In some ways, I feel like it's delegating to, and just knowing where we need help in our lives. So I'm always looking at ways to free up our time, whether it is like, okay, now we've come to a place where we really do need to have maybe bi- weekly house cleaning because we're getting lost in that, you know, and we're not able to keep on top of it.

So, Getting that lined up and all that, but just this really simple example, but always being able to know this is the next thing we need to outsource or get rid of or do differently in order to live more simply. We're both really big on quality time and, just being together. So I don't want to be busy all weekend or things like that with, with life stuff, you know, so, [00:22:00] that's where I see it at home in particular.

In business, I feel that. When I look back on my career, I've always been in that guide role. So it's like, I worked as a student advisor in the faculty of medicine. I was working with those kids in both the pre clerkship and electives program on like setting up their medical career, basically, then it was in human resources, then it was in consulting, change management.

I'm always guiding people through a process of some sort, right? Are listening to them and putting them, connecting them with who they need to meet, where they need to be, where they need to go. So that's how I see it play out in business. And I think, in terms of the systems I created about, I want to say almost two years ago, a system called Conscious Business Design that I use to help manage myself in my business.

And so. I started sharing those tools with my clients, and [00:23:00] then it was like, Oh, this is a real thing. This is actually really helping people stay organized, set their goals, check in, do this weekly process where they're mapping out all the things they need for the next week ahead. And so I think in that way that that became my system.

And so that's where I spend the most amount of time with my clients is working on these types of things.

Chantelle: As you said conscious business design my whole body leaned in, very Projector Manifesting Generator kind of moment that we had there.

Melissa: Yes, yes, yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, I just felt felt like conscious business design. It needed to be something that I find a lot of people get bored, as we said, like business is always changing, right? So it's starting more from making that business revolve around you and who you are and your lifestyle.

And if that changes how to like shift that along with it and how to grow along with your business. We dive deep into your business plan itself of what you're selling, what, who [00:24:00] you're marketing to, all those ideas, and then actually putting strategies, the strategy down in place and mapping that out across the year.

So you have an action plan, creating that weekly flow, tracking your metrics. I'm really big on numbers. Yeah.

Chantelle: Is there anything that you're working on in your business right now that is maybe new and exciting?

Melissa: So because you're local, you know, we just launched a mastermind myself in collaboration with another community here in Winnipeg, the Winnipeg Women's Community and Conference.

For me, this is a big deal because I work mostly with people one on one and I never want to change that. I love working one on one. I don't believe you have to only have a group program to be a successful coach. Again, you can make your business about who you are.

So I I get that network piece fed so deeply through this collaboration. And it's really exciting for me to be able to, bring that connector piece to [00:25:00] others and just see that magic in the room. When all those women are in a lunch experience together and seeing the support and the ideas that come out of it it lights me up in a way that you can't get from being on Zoom or being on a one on one. It's just different. So I'm so excited about that and can't wait to see where it goes.

Chantelle: Absolutely. I could probably talk to you all day, but if you're ready, we will flow into our ritual of closing each episode with a card pull.

I'm holding here the 4/6 cards created by Christina from Glow Glow Juice. We'll take a deep breath in together

and then release that.

The card that's come up today is: I trust myself to know who is right for me and who is not. Do I feel nourished by the people in my life?

Melissa: Love that. So I feel like that hits so much on what we were talking about at the top of the conversation and just, yeah, that inner knowing of whether someone's good for you or [00:26:00] not. Right.

When I look back on my life, I definitely can see where I've ignored that and what path that took me down and I feel that also really shapes again where I'm at now and that I've learned a lot of that and with having limited time and energy, became so selective.

I'm happy to say everyone in my life today is a nourisher. I don't feel like I I've done a lot of that work to move on from people, places, things that don't serve me anymore. But it's always an evolving process, right. And as people and situations change, there could come a time where that's not aligned anymore.

So yeah. I just always know to trust that pain when it comes up, that it's true for me, because I know the outcome when I ignore it. And yeah, I feel resourced in being able to make those decisions now.

Chantelle: I love the word resourced as a verb, and it definitely feels like that as we're building our networks and finding intentional connections with people.

Melissa: [00:27:00] Yes.

Chantelle: Where can people connect with you?

Melissa: Great. Yeah. You can visit me on line at mindful boss academy.

com. I am on Instagram. We didn't talk about social media. Cause that is one thing where I'm like, I see this play out on my online presence. I'm there and then I'm not. But yes, I have two accounts @melissa_giller and then my business is

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